AN UNSOCIAL SOCIALIST
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
CHAPTER XV
CHAPTER XVI
CHAPTER XVII
CHAPTER XVIII
APPENDIX
ANDROCLES AND THE LION
PROLOGUE
ACT I
ACT II
ANNAJANSKA, THE BOLSHEVIK EMPRESS
Arms and the Man
AUGUSTUS DOES HIS BIT
A TRUE-TO-LIFE FARCE
AUGUSTUS DOES HIS BIT
BACK TO METHUSELAH
A Metabiological Pentateuch
THE INFIDEL HALF CENTURY
THE DAWN OF DARWINISM
THE ADVENT OF THE NEO-DARWINIANS
POLITICAL INADEQUACY OF THE HUMAN ANIMAL
COWARDICE OF THE IRRELIGIOUS
IS THERE ANY HOPE IN EDUCATION?
HOMEOPATHIC EDUCATION
THE DIABOLICAL EFFICIENCY OF TECHNICAL EDUCATION
FLIMSINESS OF CIVILIZATION
CREATIVE EVOLUTION
VOLUNTARY LONGEVITY
THE EARLY EVOLUTIONISTS
THE ADVENT OF THE NEO-LAMARCKIANS
HOW ACQUIREMENTS ARE INHERITED
THE MIRACLE OF CONDENSED RECAPITULATION
HEREDITY AN OLD STORY
DISCOVERY ANTICIPATED BY DIVINATION
CORRECTED DATES FOR THE DISCOVERY OF EVOLUTION
DEFYING THE LIGHTNING: A FRUSTRATED EXPERIMENT
IN QUEST OF THE FIRST CAUSE
PALEY'S WATCH
THE IRRESISTIBLE CRY OF ORDER, ORDER!
THE MOMENT AND THE MAN
THE BRINK OF THE BOTTOMLESS PIT
WHY DARWIN CONVERTED THE CROWD
HOW WE RUSHED DOWN A STEEP PLACE
DARWINISM NOT FINALLY REFUTABLE
THREE BLIND MICE
THE GREATEST OF THESE IS SELF-CONTROL
A SAMPLE OF LAMARCKO-SHAVIAN INVECTIVE
THE HUMANITARIANS AND THE PROBLEM OF EVIL
HOW ONE TOUCH OF DARWIN MAKES THE WHOLE WORLD KIN
WHY DARWIN PLEASED THE SOCIALISTS
DARWIN AND KARL MARX
WHY DARWIN PLEASED THE PROFITEERS ALSO
THE POETRY AND PURITY OF MATERIALISM
THE VICEROYS OF THE KING OF KINGS
POLITICAL OPPORTUNISM IN EXCELSIS
THE BETRAYAL OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION
CIRCUMSTANTIAL SELECTION IN FINANCE
THE HOMEOPATHIC REACTION AGAINST DARWINISM
RELIGION AND ROMANCE
THE DANGER OF REACTION
A TOUCHSTONE FOR DOGMA
WHAT TO DO WITH THE LEGENDS
A LESSON FROM SCIENCE TO THE CHURCHES
THE RELIGIOUS ART OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY
THE ARTIST-PROPHETS
EVOLUTION IN THE THEATRE
MY OWN PART IN THE MATTER
BACK TO METHUSELAH.
PART I—In the Beginning
ACT I
ACT II
PART II—The Gospel of the Brothers Barnabas
PART III—The Thing Happens
PART IV—Tragedy of an Elderly Gentleman
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
PART V.—As Far as Thought can Reach
CAESAR AND CLEOPATRA
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
NOTES TO CAESAR AND CLEOPATRA
CLEOPATRA’S CURE FOR BALDNESS
APPARENT ANACHRONISMS
CLEOPATRA
BRITANNUS
JULIUS CAESAR
CANDIDA
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
CAPTAIN BRASSBOUND'S CONVERSION
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
NOTES TO CAPTAIN BRASSBOUND'S CONVERSION
SOURCES OF THE PLAY
CASHEL BYRON’S PROFESSION
PROLOGUE
I
II
III
CHAPTER I
CHAPTER II
CHAPTER III.
CHAPTER IV
CHAPTER V
CHAPTER VI
CHAPTER VII
CHAPTER VIII
CHAPTER IX
CHAPTER X
CHAPTER XI
CHAPTER XII
CHAPTER XIII
CHAPTER XIV
CHAPTER XV
CHAPTER XVI
FANNY'S FIRST PLAY
PREFACE TO FANNY'S FIRST PLAY
FANNY'S FIRST PLAY
INDUCTION
THE PLAY
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
EPILOGUE
GETTING MARRIED
Preface To "Getting Married"
PREFACE TO GETTING MARRIED
THE REVOLT AGAINST MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE NEVERTHELESS INEVITABLE
WHAT DOES THE WORD MARRIAGE MEAN
SURVIVALS OF SEX SLAVERY
A NEW ATTACK ON MARRIAGE
A FORGOTTEN CONFERENCE OF MARRIED MEN
HEARTH AND HOME
TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING
LARGE AND SMALL FAMILIES
THE GOSPEL OF LAODICEA
FOR BETTER FOR WORSE
WANTED: AN IMMORAL STATESMAN
THE LIMITS OF DEMOCRACY
THE SCIENCE AND ART OF POLITICS
WHY STATESMEN SHIRK THE MARRIAGE QUESTION
THE QUESTION OF POPULATION
THE RIGHT TO MOTHERHOOD
MONOGAMY, POLYGYNY AND POLYANDRY
THE MALE REVOLT AGAINST POLYGYNY
DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ORIENTAL AND OCCIDENTAL POLYGYNY
THE OLD MAID'S RIGHT TO MOTHERHOOD
IBSEN'S CHAIN STITCH
REMOTENESS OF THE FACTS FROM THE IDEAL
DIFFICULTY OF OBTAINING EVIDENCE
MARRIAGE AS A MAGIC SPELL
THE IMPERSONALITY OF SEX
THE ECONOMIC SLAVERY OF WOMEN
UNPOPULARITY OF IMPERSONAL VIEWS
IMPERSONALITY IS NOT PROMISCUITY
DOMESTIC CHANGE OF AIR
HOME MANNERS ARE BAD MANNERS
SPURIOUS "NATURAL" AFFECTION
CARRYING THE WAR INTO THE ENEMY'S COUNTRY
SHELLEY AND QUEEN VICTORIA
A PROBABLE EFFECT OF GIVING WOMEN THE VOTE
THE PERSONAL SENTIMENTAL BASIS OF MONOGAMY
DIVORCE
IMPORTANCE OF SENTIMENTAL GRIEVANCE
DIVORCE WITHOUT ASKING WHY
ECONOMIC SLAVERY AGAIN THE ROOT DIFFICULTY
LABOR EXCHANGES AND THE WHITE SLAVERY
CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
DIVORCE A SACRAMENTAL DUTY
OTHELLO AND DESDEMONA
WHAT IS TO BECOME OF THE CHILDREN?
THE COST OF DIVORCE
CONCLUSIONS
GETTING MARRIED
GREAT CATHERINE (WHOM GLORY STILL ADORES)
"In Catherine's reign, whom Glory still adores" BYRON
THE AUTHOR'S APOLOGY FOR GREAT CATHERINE
GREAT CATHERINE
THE FIRST SCENE
THE SECOND SCENE
THE THIRD SCENE
THE FOURTH SCENE
HEARTBREAK HOUSE
A FANTASIA IN THE RUSSIAN MANNER ON ENGLISH THEMES
1913-1916
HEARTBREAK HOUSE AND HORSEBACK HALL
HEARTBREAK HOUSE
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND
PREFACE
HOW HE LIED TO HER HUSBAND
JOHN BULL'S OTHER ISLAND
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
MAJOR BARBARA
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
MAN AND SUPERMAN
A COMEDY AND A PHILOSOPHY By Bernard Shaw
EPISTLE DEDICATORY TO ARTHUR BINGHAM WALKLEY
My dear Walkley:
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
Maxims for Revolutionists
MISALLIANCE
MRS WARREN’S PROFESSION
With The Author’s Apology (1902)
THE AUTHOR’S APOLOGY
MRS WARREN’S PROFESSION
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
O'FLAHERTY V.C.: A RECRUITING PAMPHLET
O'FLAHERTY V.C.
PREFACE TO ANDROCLES AND THE LION: ON THE PROSPECTS OF CHRISTIANITY
PREFACE ON THE PROSPECTS OF CHRISTIANITY
WHY JESUS MORE THAN ANOTHER?
WAS JESUS A COWARD?
WAS JESUS A MARTYR?
THE GOSPELS WITHOUT PREJUDICE.
THE GOSPELS NOW UNINTELLIGIBLE TO NOVICES.
WORLDLINESS OF THE MAJORITY.
RELIGION OF THE MINORITY. SALVATIONISM.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ATONEMENT AND PUNISHMENT
SALVATION AT FIRST A CLASS PRIVILEGE; AND THE REMEDY
RETROSPECTIVE ATONEMENT, AND THE EXPECTATION OF THE REDEEMER
COMPLETION OF THE SCHEME BY LUTHER AND CALVIN
JOHN BARLEYCORN
LOOKING FOR THE END OF THE WORLD
THE HONOR OF DIVINE PARENTAGE
MATTHEW.
THE ANNUNCIATION: THE MASSACRE: THE FLIGHT
JOHN THE BAPTIST
JESUS JOINS THE BAPTISTS
THE SAVAGE JOHN AND THE CIVILIZED JESUS
JESUS NOT A PROSLETYST
THE TEACHINGS OF JESUS.
THE MIRACLES
MATTHEW IMPUTES DIGNITY TO JESUS.
THE GREAT CHANGE.
JERUSALEM AND THE MYSTICAL SACRIFICE.
NOT THIS MAN BUT BARRABAS
THE RESURRECTION.
DATE OF MATTHEW'S NARRATIVE.
CLASS TYPE OF MATTHEW'S JESUS
MARK.
THE WOMEN DISCIPLES AND THE ASCENSION.
LUKE.
LUKE THE LITERARY ARTIST.
THE CHARM OF LUKE'S NARRATIVE.
THE TOUCH OF PARISIAN ROMANCE.
WAITING FOR THE MESSIAH.
JOHN.
A NEW STORY AND A NEW CHARACTER.
JOHN THE IMMORTAL EYEWITNESS.
THE PECULIAR THEOLOGY OF JESUS.
JOHN AGREED AS TO THE TRIAL AND CRUCIFIXION.
CREDIBILITY OF THE GOSPELS.
FASHIONS OF BELIEF.
CREDIBILITY AND TRUTH.
CHRISTIAN ICONOLATRY AND THE PERILS OF THE ICONOCLAST.
THE ALTERNATIVE TO BARRABAS.
THE REDUCTION TO MODERN PRACTICE OF CHRISTIANITY.
MODERN COMMUNISM.
REDISTRIBUTION.
SHALL HE WHO MAKES, OWN.
LABOR TIME.
THE DREAM OF DISTRIBUTION ACCORDING TO MERIT.
VITAL DISTRIBUTION.
EQUAL DISTRIBUTION.
THE CAPTAIN AND THE CABIN BOY.
THE POLITICAL AND BIOLOGICAL OBJECTIONS TO INEQUALITY.
JESUS AS ECONOMIST.
JESUS AS BIOLOGIST.
MONEY THE MIDWIFE OF SCIENTIFIC COMMUNISM.
JUDGE NOT.
LIMITS TO FREE WILL.
JESUS ON MARRIAGE AND THE FAMILY.
WHY JESUS DID NOT MARRY.
INCONSISTENCY OF THE SEX INSTINCT.
FOR BETTER OR WORSE.
THE CASE FOR MARRIAGE.
CELIBACY NO REMEDY.
AFTER THE CRUCIFIXION.
THE VINDICTIVE MIRACLES AND THE STONING OF STEPHEN.
PAUL.
THE CONFUSION OF CHRISTENDOM.
THE SECRET OF PAUL'S SUCCESS.
PAUL'S QUALITIES
THE ACTS OF THE APOSTLES.
THE CONTROVERSIES ON BAPTISM AND TRANSUBSTANTIATION.
THE ALTERNATIVE CHRISTS.
CREDULITY NO CRITERION.
BELIEF IN PERSONAL IMMORTALITY NO CRITERION.
THE SECULAR VIEW NATURAL, NOT RATIONAL, THEREFORE INEVITABLE.
"THE HIGHER CRITICISM."
THE PERILS OF SALVATIONISM.
THE IMPORTANCE OF HELL IN THE SALVATION SCHEME.
THE RIGHT TO REFUSE ATONEMENT.
THE TEACHING OF CHRISTIANITY.
CHRISTIANITY AND THE EMPIRE.
OVERRULED
PREFACE TO OVERRULED.
PREFACE TO MAJOR BARBARA: FIRST AID TO CRITICS
THE GOSPEL OF ST. ANDREW UNDERSHAFT
THE SALVATION ARMY
BARBARA'S RETURN TO THE COLORS.
WEAKNESSES OF THE SALVATION ARMY.
CHRISTIANITY AND ANARCHISM
SANE CONCLUSIONS
PRESS CUTTINGS
PYGMALION
PREFACE TO PYGMALION.
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
PREFACE TO THE REVOLUTIONIST'S HANDBOOK
AND YET
JOHN TANNER
ON GOOD BREEDING
PROPERTY AND MARRIAGE
THE PERFECTIONIST EXPERIMENT AT ONEIDA CREEK
MAN'S OBJECTION TO HIS OWN IMPROVEMENT
THE POLITICAL NEED FOR THE SUPERMAN
PRUDERY EXPLAINED
PROGRESS AN ILLUSION
THE CONCEIT OF CIVILIZATION
THE VERDICT OF HISTORY
THE METHOD
THE ADMIRABLE BASHVILLE OR, CONSTANCY UNREWARDED
THE DARK LADY OF THE SONNETS
PREFACE TO THE DARK LADY OF THE SONNETS
How the Play came to be Written
Thomas Tyler
Frank Harris
Harris "durch Mitleid wissend"
"Sidney's Sister: Pembroke's Mother"
Shakespear's Social Standing
This Side Idolatry
Shakespear's Pessimism
Gaiety of Genius
Jupiter and Semele
The Idol of the Bardolaters
Shakespear's alleged Sycophancy and Perversion
Shakespear and Democracy
Shakespear and the British Public
THE DARK LADY OF THE SONNETS
THE DEVIL'S DISCIPLE
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
NOTES TO THE DEVIL'S DISCIPLE
THE DOCTOR'S DILEMMA
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
ACT V
THE DOCTOR'S DILEMMA: PREFACE ON DOCTORS
DOUBTFUL CHARACTER BORNE BY THE MEDICAL PROFESSION
DOCTOR'S CONSCIENCES
THE PECULIAR PEOPLE
RECOIL OF THE DOGMA OF MEDICAL INFALLIBILITY ON THE DOCTOR
WHY DOCTORS DO NOT DIFFER
THE CRAZE FOR OPERATIONS
CREDULITY AND CHLOROFORM
MEDICAL POVERTY
THE SUCCESSFUL DOCTOR
THE PSYCHOLOGY OF SELF-RESPECT IN SURGEONS
ARE DOCTORS MEN OF SCIENCE?
BACTERIOLOGY AS A SUPERSTITION
ECONOMIC DIFFICULTIES OF IMMUNIZATION
THE PERILS OF INOCULATION
DOCTORS AND VIVISECTION
THE PRIMITIVE SAVAGE MOTIVE
THE HIGHER MOTIVE. THE TREE OF KNOWLEDGE.
THE FLAW IN THE ARGUMENT
LIMITATIONS OF THE RIGHT TO KNOWLEDGE
A FALSE ALTERNATIVE
OUR OWN CRUELTIES
THE SCIENTIFIC INVESTIGATION OF CRUELTY
ROUTINE
THE OLD LINE BETWEEN MAN AND BEAST
VIVISECTING THE HUMAN SUBJECT
"THE LIE IS A EUROPEAN POWER"
AN ARGUMENT WHICH WOULD DEFEND ANY CRIME
THOU ART THE MAN
WHAT THE PUBLIC WANTS AND WILL NOT GET
THE VACCINATION CRAZE
STATISTICAL ILLUSIONS
THE SURPRISES OF ATTENTION AND NEGLECT
STEALING CREDIT FROM CIVILIZATION
BIOMETRIKA
PATIENT-MADE THERAPEUTICS
THE REFORMS ALSO COME FROM THE LAITY
FASHIONS AND EPIDEMICS
THE DOCTOR'S VIRTUES
THE DOCTOR'S HARDSHIPS
THE PUBLIC DOCTOR
What then is to be done?
MEDICAL ORGANIZATION
THE SOCIAL SOLUTION OF THE MEDICAL PROBLEM
THE FUTURE OF PRIVATE PRACTICE
THE TECHNICAL PROBLEM
THE LATEST THEORIES
THE IMPOSSIBILITIES OF ANARCHISM
THE INCA OF PERUSALEM: AN ALMOST HISTORICAL COMEDIETTA
PROLOGUE
THE PLAY
THE IRRATIONAL KNOT
TO THE AMERICAN EDITION OF 1905
THE WATERS OF MARAH,
BY ELINOR MCQUINCH.
"MARIAN."
THE MAN OF DESTINY
The Miraculous Revenge
THE MIRACULOUS REVENGE
THE PERFECT WAGNERITE A COMMENTARY ON THE NIBLUNG'S RING
Preface to the First German Edition
PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION
Preface to the First Edition
THE PERFECT WAGNERITE
PRELIMINARY ENCOURAGEMENTS
THE RING OF THE NIBLUNGS
THE RHINE GOLD
WAGNER AS REVOLUTIONIST
THE VALKYRIES
SIEGFRIED
BACK TO OPERA AGAIN
SIEGFRIED AS PROTESTANT
PANACEA QUACKERY, OTHERWISE IDEALISM
DRAMATIC ORIGIN OF WOTAN
THE LOVE PANACEA
NOT LOVE, BUT LIFE
ANARCHISM NO PANACEA
SIEGFRIED CONCLUDED
NIGHT FALLS ON THE GODS
PROLOGUE
A WAGNERIAN NEWSPAPER CONTROVERSY
FORGOTTEN ERE FINISHED
WHY HE CHANGED HIS MIND
WAGNER'S OWN EXPLANATION
THE PESSIMIST AS AMORIST
THE MUSIC OF THE RING
THE REPRESENTATIVE THEMES
THE CHARACTERIZATION
THE OLD AND THE NEW MUSIC
THE NINETEENTH CENTURY
THE MUSIC OF THE FUTURE
BAYREUTH
BAYREUTH IN ENGLAND
WAGNERIAN SINGERS
THE PHILANDERER
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV
THE SHEWING-UP OF BLANCO POSNET
THE CENSORSHIP
A READABLE BLUEBOOK
HOW NOT TO DO IT
THE STORY OF THE JOINT SELECT COMMITTEE
WHY THE MANAGERS LOVE THE CENSORSHIP
A TWO GUINEA INSURANCE POLICY
WHY THE GOVERNMENT INTERFERED
THE PEERS ON THE JOINT SELECT COMMITTEE
THE COMMITTEE'S ATTITUDE TOWARD THE THEATRE
A BAD BEGINNING
A COMIC INTERLUDE
AN ANTI-SHAVIAN PANIC
A RARE AND CURIOUS FIRST EDITION
THE TIMES TO THE RESCUE
THE COUNCIL OF TEN
THE SENTENCE
THE EXECUTION
THE REJECTED STATEMENT
PART I
THE WITNESS'S QUALIFICATIONS
THE DEFINITION OF IMMORALITY
WHAT TOLERATION MEANS
THE CASE FOR TOLERATION
THE LIMITS TO TOLERATION
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAW AND CENSORSHIP
WHY THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN?
THE DIPLOMATIC OBJECTION TO THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN
THE OBJECTION OF COURT ETIQUET
WHY NOT AN ENLIGHTENED CENSORSHIP?
THE WEAKNESS OF THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN'S DEPARTMENT
AN ENLIGHTENED CENSORSHIP STILL WORSE THAN THE LORD CHAMBERLAIN'S
THE PRACTICAL IMPOSSIBILITIES OF CENSORSHIP
THE ARBITRATION PROPOSAL
THE REJECTED STATEMENT: PART TWO
THE LICENSING OF THEATRES
THE DISTINCTION BETWEEN LICENSING AND CENSORSHIP
PROSTITUTION AND DRINK IN THEATRES
WHY THE MANAGERS DREAD LOCAL CONTROL
DESIRABLE LIMITATIONS OF LOCAL CONTROL
SUMMARY
PREFACE RESUMED
MR. GEORGE ALEXANDER'S PROTEST
ELIZA AND HER BATH
A KING'S PROCTOR
COUNSEL'S OPINION
WANTED: A NEW MAGNA CHARTA
PROPOSED: A NEW STAR CHAMBER
POSSIBILITIES OF THE PROPOSAL
STAR CHAMBER SENTIMENTALITY
ANYTHING FOR A QUIET LIFE
SHALL THE EXAMINER OF PLAYS STARVE?
LORD GORELL'S AWAKENING
JUDGES: THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIMITATIONS
CONCLUSION
THE SHEWING-UP OF BLANCO POSNET
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The Child is Father to the Man
What is a Child?
The Sin of Nadab and Abihu
The Manufacture of Monsters
Small and Large Families
Children as Nuisances
Child Fanciers
Childhood as a State of Sin
School
My Scholastic Acquirements
Schoolmasters of Genius
What We Do Not Teach, and Why
Taboo in Schools
Alleged Novelties in Modern Schools
What is to be Done?
Children's Rights and Duties
Should Children Earn their Living?
Children's Happiness
The Horror of the Perpetual Holiday
University Schoolboyishness
The New Laziness
The Infinite School Task
The Rewards and Risks of Knowledge
English Physical Hardihood and Spiritual Cowardice
The Risks of Ignorance and Weakness
The Common Sense of Toleration
The Sin of Athanasius
The Experiment Experimenting
Why We Loathe Learning and Love Sport
Antichrist
Under the Whip
Technical Instruction
Docility and Dependence
The Abuse of Docility
The Schoolboy and the Homeboy
The Comings of Age of Children
The Conflict of Wills
The Demagogue's Opportunity
Our Quarrelsomeness
We Must Reform Society before we can Reform Ourselves
The Pursuit of Manners
Not too much Wind on the Heath, Brother
Wanted: a Child's Magna Charta
The Pursuit of Learning
Children and Game: a Proposal
The Parents' Intolerable Burden
Mobilization
Children's Rights and Parents' Wrongs
How Little We Know About Our Parents
Our Abandoned Mothers
Family Affection
The Fate of the Family
Family Mourning
Art Teaching
The Impossibility of Secular Education
Natural Selection as a Religion
Moral Instruction Leagues
The Bible
Artist Idolatry
"The Machine"
The Provocation to Anarchism
Imagination
Government by Bullies
YOU NEVER CAN TELL
ACT I
ACT II
ACT III
ACT IV

George Bernard Shaw

Collected Works

ATHENEMEDIA

AN UNSOCIAL SOCIALIST



CHAPTER I

In the dusk of an October evening, a sensible looking woman of forty came out through an oaken door to a broad landing on the first floor of an old English country-house. A braid of her hair had fallen forward as if she had been stooping over book or pen; and she stood for a moment to smooth it, and to gaze contemplatively—not in the least sentimentally—through the tall, narrow window. The sun was setting, but its glories were at the other side of the house; for this window looked eastward, where the landscape of sheepwalks and pasture land was sobering at the approach of darkness.

The lady, like one to whom silence and quiet were luxuries, lingered on the landing for some time. Then she turned towards another door, on which was inscribed, in white letters, Class Room No. 6. Arrested by a whispering above, she paused in the doorway, and looked up the stairs along a broad smooth handrail that swept round in an unbroken curve at each landing, forming an inclined plane from the top to the bottom of the house.

A young voice, apparently mimicking someone, now came from above, saying,

“We will take the Etudes de la Velocite next, if you please, ladies.”

Immediately a girl in a holland dress shot down through space; whirled round the curve with a fearless centrifugal toss of her ankle; and vanished into the darkness beneath. She was followed by a stately girl in green, intently holding her breath as she flew; and also by a large young woman in black, with her lower lip grasped between her teeth, and her fine brown eyes protruding with excitement. Her passage created a miniature tempest which disarranged anew the hair of the lady on the landing, who waited in breathless alarm until two light shocks and a thump announced that the aerial voyagers had landed safely in the hall.

“Oh law!” exclaimed the voice that had spoken before. “Here’s Susan.”

“It’s a mercy your neck ain’t broken,” replied some palpitating female. “I’ll tell of you this time, Miss Wylie; indeed I will. And you, too, Miss Carpenter: I wonder at you not to have more sense at your age and with your size! Miss Wilson can’t help hearing when you come down with a thump like that. You shake the whole house.”

“Oh bother!” said Miss Wylie. “The Lady Abbess takes good care to shut out all the noise we make. Let us—”

“Girls,” said the lady above, calling down quietly, but with ominous distinctness.

Silence and utter confusion ensued. Then came a reply, in a tone of honeyed sweetness, from Miss Wylie:

“Did you call us, DEAR Miss Wilson?”

“Yes. Come up here, if you please, all three.”

There was some hesitation among them, each offering the other precedence. At last they went up slowly, in the order, though not at all in the manner, of their flying descent; followed Miss Wilson into the class-room; and stood in a row before her, illumined through three western windows with a glow of ruddy orange light. Miss Carpenter, the largest of the three, was red and confused. Her arms hung by her sides, her fingers twisting the folds of her dress. Miss Gertrude Lindsay, in pale sea-green, had a small head, delicate complexion, and pearly teeth. She stood erect, with an expression of cold distaste for reproof of any sort. The holland dress of the third offender had changed from yellow to white as she passed from the gray eastern twilight on the staircase into the warm western glow in the room. Her face had a bright olive tone, and seemed to have a golden mica in its composition. Her eyes and hair were hazel-nut color; and her teeth, the upper row of which she displayed freely, were like fine Portland stone, and sloped outward enough to have spoilt her mouth, had they not been supported by a rich under lip, and a finely curved, impudent chin. Her half cajoling, half mocking air, and her ready smile, were difficult to confront with severity; and Miss Wilson knew it; for she would not look at her even when attracted by a convulsive start and an angry side glance from Miss Lindsay, who had just been indented between the ribs by a finger tip.

“You are aware that you have broken the rules,” said Miss Wilson quietly.

“We didn’t intend to. We really did not,” said the girl in holland, coaxingly.

“Pray what was your intention then, Miss Wylie?”

Miss Wylie unexpectedly treated this as a smart repartee instead of a rebuke. She sent up a strange little scream, which exploded in a cascade of laughter.

“Pray be silent, Agatha,” said Miss Wilson severely. Agatha looked contrite. Miss Wilson turned hastily to the eldest of the three, and continued:

“I am especially surprised at you, Miss Carpenter. Since you have no desire to keep faith with me by upholding the rules, of which you are quite old enough to understand the necessity, I shall not trouble you with reproaches, or appeals to which I am now convinced that you would not respond,” (here Miss Carpenter, with an inarticulate protest, burst into tears); “but you should at least think of the danger into which your juniors are led by your childishness. How should you feel if Agatha had broken her neck?”

“Oh!” exclaimed Agatha, putting her hand quickly to her neck.

“I didn’t think there was any danger,” said Miss Carpenter, struggling with her tears. “Agatha has done it so oft—oh dear! you have torn me.” Miss Wylie had pulled at her schoolfellow’s skirt, and pulled too hard.

“Miss Wylie,” said Miss Wilson, flushing slightly, “I must ask you to leave the room.”

“Oh, no,” exclaimed Agatha, clasping her hands in distress. “Please don’t, dear Miss Wilson. I am so sorry. I beg your pardon.”

“Since you will not do what I ask, I must go myself,” said Miss Wilson sternly. “Come with me to my study,” she added to the two other girls. “If you attempt to follow, Miss Wylie, I shall regard it as an intrusion.”

“But I will go away if you wish it. I didn’t mean to diso—”

“I shall not trouble you now. Come, girls.”

The three went out; and Miss Wylie, left behind in disgrace, made a surpassing grimace at Miss Lindsay, who glanced back at her. When she was alone, her vivacity subsided. She went slowly to the window, and gazed disparagingly at the landscape. Once, when a sound of voices above reached her, her eyes brightened, and her ready lip moved; but the next silent moment she relapsed into moody indifference, which was not relieved until her two companions, looking very serious, re-entered.

“Well,” she said gaily, “has moral force been applied? Are you going to the Recording Angel?”

“Hush, Agatha,” said Miss Carpenter. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself.”

“No, but you ought, you goose. A nice row you have got me into!”

“It was your own fault. You tore my dress.”

“Yes, when you were blurting out that I sometimes slide down the banisters.”

“Oh!” said Miss Carpenter slowly, as if this reason had not occurred to her before. “Was that why you pulled me?”

“Dear me! It has actually dawned upon you. You are a most awfully silly girl, Jane. What did the Lady Abbess say?”

Miss Carpenter again gave her tears way, and could not reply.

“She is disgusted with us, and no wonder,” said Miss Lindsay.

“She said it was all your fault,” sobbed Miss Carpenter.

“Well, never mind, dear,” said Agatha soothingly. “Put it in the Recording Angel.”

“I won’t write a word in the Recording Angel unless you do so first,” said Miss Lindsay angrily. “You are more in fault than we are.”

“Certainly, my dear,” replied Agatha. “A whole page, if you wish.”

“I b-believe you LIKE writing in the Recording Angel,” said Miss Carpenter spitefully.

“Yes, Jane. It is the best fun the place affords.”

“It may be fun to you,” said Miss Lindsay sharply; “but it is not very creditable to me, as Miss Wilson said just now, to take a prize in moral science and then have to write down that I don’t know how to behave myself. Besides, I do not like to be told that I am ill-bred!”

Agatha laughed. “What a deep old thing she is! She knows all our weaknesses, and stabs at us through them. Catch her telling me, or Jane there, that we are ill-bred!”

“I don’t understand you,” said Miss Lindsay, haughtily.

“Of course not. That’s because you don’t know as much moral science as I, though I never took a prize in it.”

“You never took a prize in anything,” said Miss Carpenter.

“And I hope I never shall,” said Agatha. “I would as soon scramble for hot pennies in the snow, like the street boys, as scramble to see who can answer most questions. Dr. Watts is enough moral science for me. Now for the Recording Angel.”

She went to a shelf and took down a heavy quarto, bound in black leather, and inscribed, in red letters, MY FAULTS. This she threw irreverently on a desk, and tossed its pages over until she came to one only partly covered with manuscript confessions.

“For a wonder,” she said, “here are two entries that are not mine. Sarah Gerram! What has she been confessing?”

“Don’t read it,” said Miss Lindsay quickly. “You know that it is the most dishonorable thing any of us can do.”

“Poch! Our little sins are not worth making such a fuss about. I always like to have my entries read: it makes me feel like an author; and so in Christian duty I always read other people’s. Listen to poor Sarah’s tale of guilt. ‘1st October. I am very sorry that I slapped Miss Chambers in the lavatory this morning, and knocked out one of her teeth. This was very wicked; but it was coming out by itself; and she has forgiven me because a new one will come in its place; and she was only pretending when she said she swallowed it. Sarah Gerram.”’

“Little fool!” said Miss Lindsay. “The idea of our having to record in the same book with brats like that!”

“Here is a touching revelation. ‘4th October. Helen Plantagenet is deeply grieved to have to confess that I took the first place in algebra yesterday unfairly. Miss Lindsay prompted me;’ and—”

“Oh!” exclaimed Miss Lindsay, reddening. “That is how she thanks me for prompting her, is it? How dare she confess my faults in the Recording Angel?”

“Serves you right for prompting her,” said Miss Carpenter. “She was always a double-faced cat; and you ought to have known better.”

“Oh, I assure you it was not for her sake that I did it,” replied Miss Lindsay. “It was to prevent that Jackson girl from getting first place. I don’t like Helen Plantagenet; but at least she is a lady.’

“Stuff, Gertrude,” said Agatha, with a touch of earnestness. “One would think, to hear you talk, that your grandmother was a cook. Don’t be such a snob.”

“Miss Wylie,” said Gertrude, becoming scarlet: “you are very—oh! oh! Stop Ag—oh! I will tell Miss—oh!” Agatha had inserted a steely finger between her ribs, and was tickling her unendurably.

“Sh-sh-sh,” whispered Miss Carpenter anxiously. “The door is open.”

“Am I Miss Wylie?” demanded Agatha, relentlessly continuing the torture. “Am I very—whatever you were going to say? Am I? am I? am I?”

“No, no,” gasped Gertrude, shrinking into a chair, almost in hysterics. “You are very unkind, Agatha. You have hurt me.”

“You deserve it. If you ever get sulky with me again, or call me Miss Wylie, I will kill you. I will tickle the soles of your feet with a feather,” (Miss Lindsay shuddered, and hid her feet beneath the chair) “until your hair turns white. And now, if you are truly repentant, come and record.”

“You must record first. It was all your fault.”

“But I am the youngest,” said Agatha.

“Well, then,” said Gertrude, afraid to press the point, but determined not to record first, “let Jane Carpenter begin. She is the eldest.”

“Oh, of course,” said Jane, with whimpering irony. “Let Jane do all the nasty things first. I think it’s very hard. You fancy that Jane is a fool; but she isn’t.”

“You are certainly not such a fool as you look, Jane,” said Agatha gravely. “But I will record first, if you like.”

“No, you shan’t,” cried Jane, snatching the pen from her. “I am the eldest; and I won’t be put out of my place.”

She dipped the pen in the ink resolutely, and prepared to write. Then she paused; considered; looked bewildered; and at last appealed piteously to Agatha.

“What shall I write?” she said. “You know how to write things down; and I don’t.”

“First put the date,” said Agatha.

“To be sure,” said Jane, writing it quickly. “I forgot that. Well?”

“Now write, ‘I am very sorry that Miss Wilson saw me when I slid down the banisters this evening. Jane Carpenter.’”

“Is that all?”

“That’s all: unless you wish to add something of your own composition.”

“I hope it’s all right,” said Jane, looking suspiciously at Agatha. “However, there can’t be any harm in it; for it’s the simple truth. Anyhow, if you are playing one of your jokes on me, you are a nasty mean thing, and I don’t care. Now, Gertrude, it’s your turn. Please look at mine, and see whether the spelling is right.”

“It is not my business to teach you to spell,” said Gertrude, taking the pen. And, while Jane was murmuring at her churlishness, she wrote in a bold hand:

“I have broken the rules by sliding down the banisters to-day with Miss Carpenter and Miss Wylie. Miss Wylie went first.”

“You wretch!” exclaimed Agatha, reading over her shoulder. “And your father is an admiral!”

“I think it is only fair,” said Miss Lindsay, quailing, but assuming the tone of a moralist. “It is perfectly true.”

“All my money was made in trade,” said Agatha; “but I should be ashamed to save myself by shifting blame to your aristocratic shoulders. You pitiful thing! Here: give me the pen.”

“I will strike it out if you wish; but I think—”

“No: it shall stay there to witness against you. Now see how I confess my faults.” And she wrote, in a fine, rapid hand:

“This evening Gertrude Lindsay and Jane Carpenter met me at the top of the stairs, and said they wanted to slide down the banisters and would do it if I went first. I told them that it was against the rules, but they said that did not matter; and as they are older than I am, I allowed myself to be persuaded, and did.”

“What do you think of that?” said Agatha, displaying the page.

They read it, and protested clamorously.

“It is perfectly true,” said Agatha, solemnly.

“It’s beastly mean,” said Jane energetically. “The idea of your finding fault with Gertrude, and then going and being twice as bad yourself! I never heard of such a thing in my life.”

“‘Thus bad begins; but worse remains behind,’ as the Standard Elocutionist says,” said Agatha, adding another sentence to her confession.

“But it was all my fault. Also I was rude to Miss Wilson, and refused to leave the room when she bade me. I was not wilfully wrong except in sliding down the banisters. I am so fond of a slide that I could not resist the temptation.”

“Be warned by me, Agatha,” said Jane impressively. “If you write cheeky things in that book, you will be expelled.”

“Indeed!” replied Agatha significantly. “Wait until Miss Wilson sees what you have written.”

“Gertrude,” cried Jane, with sudden misgiving, “has she made me write anything improper? Agatha, do tell me if—”

Here a gong sounded; and the three girls simultaneously exclaimed “Grub!” and rushed from the room.

 




 

CHAPTER II

One sunny afternoon, a hansom drove at great speed along Belsize Avenue, St. John’s Wood, and stopped before a large mansion. A young lady sprang out; ran up the steps, and rang the bell impatiently. She was of the olive complexion, with a sharp profile: dark eyes with long lashes; narrow mouth with delicately sensuous lips; small head, feet, and hands, with long taper fingers; lithe and very slender figure moving with serpent-like grace. Oriental taste was displayed in the colors of her costume, which consisted of a white dress, close-fitting, and printed with an elaborate china blue pattern; a yellow straw hat covered with artificial hawthorn and scarlet berries; and tan-colored gloves reaching beyond the elbow, and decorated with a profusion of gold bangles.

The door not being opened immediately, she rang again, violently, and was presently admitted by a maid, who seemed surprised to see her. Without making any inquiry, she darted upstairs into a drawing-room, where a matron of good presence, with features of the finest Jewish type, sat reading. With her was a handsome boy in black velvet, who said:

“Mamma, here’s Henrietta!”

“Arthur,” said the young lady excitedly, “leave the room this instant; and don’t dare to come back until you get leave.”

The boy’s countenance fell, and he sulkily went out without a word.

“Is anything wrong?” said the matron, putting away her book with the unconcerned resignation of an experienced person who foresees a storm in a teacup. “Where is Sidney?”

“Gone! Gone! Deserted me! I—” The young lady’s utterance failed, and she threw herself upon an ottoman, sobbing with passionate spite.

“Nonsense! I thought Sidney had more sense. There, Henrietta, don’t be silly. I suppose you have quarrelled.”

“No! No!! No!!!” cried Henrietta, stamping on the carpet. “We had not a word. I have not lost my temper since we were married, mamma; I solemnly swear I have not. I will kill myself; there is no other way. There’s a curse on me. I am marked out to be miserable. He—”

“Tut, tut! What has happened, Henrietta? As you have been married now nearly six weeks, you can hardly be surprised at a little tiff arising. You are so excitable! You cannot expect the sky to be always cloudless. Most likely you are to blame; for Sidney is far more reasonable than you. Stop crying, and behave like a woman of sense, and I will go to Sidney and make everything right.”

“But he’s gone, and I can’t find out where. Oh, what shall I do?”

“What has happened?”

Henrietta writhed with impatience. Then, forcing herself to tell her story, she answered:

“We arranged on Monday that I should spend two days with Aunt Judith instead of going with him to Birmingham to that horrid Trade Congress. We parted on the best of terms. He couldn’t have been more affectionate. I will kill myself; I don’t care about anything or anybody. And when I came back on Wednesday he was gone, and there was this letter.” She produced a letter, and wept more bitterly than before.

“Let me see it.”

Henrietta hesitated, but her mother took the letter from her, sat down near the window, and composed herself to read without the least regard to her daughter’s vehement distress. The letter ran thus:

“Monday night.

“My Dearest: I am off—surfeited with endearment—to live my own life and do my own work. I could only have prepared you for this by coldness or neglect, which are wholly impossible to me when the spell of your presence is upon me. I find that I must fly if I am to save myself.

“I am afraid that I cannot give you satisfactory and intelligible reasons for this step. You are a beautiful and luxurious creature: life is to you full and complete only when it is a carnival of love. My case is just the reverse. Before three soft speeches have escaped me I rebuke myself for folly and insincerity. Before a caress has had time to cool, a strenuous revulsion seizes me: I long to return to my old lonely ascetic hermit life; to my dry books; my Socialist propagandism; my voyage of discovery through the wilderness of thought. I married in an insane fit of belief that I had a share of the natural affection which carries other men through lifetimes of matrimony. Already I am undeceived. You are to me the loveliest woman in the world. Well, for five weeks I have walked and tallied and dallied with the loveliest woman in the world, and the upshot is that I am flying from her, and am for a hermit’s cave until I die. Love cannot keep possession of me: all my strongest powers rise up against it and will not endure it. Forgive me for writing nonsense that you won’t understand, and do not think too hardly of me. I have been as good to you as my selfish nature allowed. Do not seek to disturb me in the obscurity which I desire and deserve. My solicitor will call on your father to arrange business matters, and you shall be as happy as wealth and liberty can make you. We shall meet again—some day.

“Adieu, my last love,

“Sidney Trefusis.”

“Well?” cried Mrs. Trefusis, observing through her tears that her mother had read the letter and was contemplating it in a daze.

“Well, certainly!” said Mrs. Jansenius, with emphasis. “Do you think he is quite sane, Henrietta? Or have you been plaguing him for too much attention? Men are not willing to give up their whole existence to their wives, even during the honeymoon.”

“He pretended that he was never happy out of my presence,” sobbed Henrietta. “There never was anything so cruel. I often wanted to be by myself for a change, but I was afraid to hurt his feelings by saying so. And now he has no feelings. But he must come back to me. Mustn’t he, mamma?”

“He ought to. I suppose he has not gone away with anyone?”

Henrietta sprang up, her cheeks vivid scarlet. “If I thought that I would pursue him to the end of the earth, and murder her. But no; he is not like anybody else. He hates me! Everybody hates me! You don’t care whether I am deserted or not, nor papa, nor anyone in this house.”

Mrs. Jansenius, still indifferent to her daughter’s agitation, considered a moment, and then said placidly:

“You can do nothing until we hear from the solicitor. In the meantime you may stay with us, if you wish. I did not expect a visit from you so soon; but your room has not been used since you went away.”

Mrs. Trefusis ceased crying, chilled by this first intimation that her father’s house was no longer her home. A more real sense of desolation came upon her. Under its cold influence she began to collect herself, and to feel her pride rising like a barrier between her and her mother.

“I won’t stay long,” she said. “If his solicitor will not tell me where he is, I will hunt through England for him. I am sorry to trouble you.”

“Oh, you will be no greater trouble than you have always been,” said Mrs. Jansenius calmly, not displeased to see that her daughter had taken the hint. “You had better go and wash your face. People may call, and I presume you don’t wish to receive them in that plight. If you meet Arthur on the stairs, please tell him he may come in.”

Henrietta screwed her lips into a curious pout and withdrew. Arthur then came in and stood at the window in sullen silence, brooding over his recent expulsion. Suddenly he exclaimed: “Here’s papa, and it’s not five o’clock yet!” whereupon his mother sent him away again.