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Many women are fearful of birth, having been influenced by TV shows and films presenting labour as painful and alarming. However, birth does not have to be this way. The Mindful Hypnobirthing Method will show you how to reduce pain, feel calm and enjoy the most extraordinary experience of your life.

This new book takes a refreshingly positive approach to birth, helping mums-to-be look forward to the experience with excitement rather than apprehension. Written by a clinical hypnotherapist and doula, The Mindful Hypnobirthing Method provides practical and reassuring mindfulness techniques to practise throughout pregnancy and labour to ensure you remain relaxed, confident, focussed and in control.

With advice from nurses and midwives as well as hypnotherapists and psychologists, this book will answer all your questions, explain your options and teach you to trust your body so you can have the birth that you want.

About the Author

Sophie Fletcher is a clinical hypnotherapist and doula. After gaining a Masters degree in European Culture (specialising in symbolism) from the University of Manchester, she went on to train as a clinical hypnotherapist for pregnancy and birth. Sophie trains midwives in the psychology of birth, is a guest lecturer at Nottingham University School of Midwifery as well as being a fellow of and advisor for the National Council for Hypnotherapy, the leading professional body for hypnotherapy in the UK. Mum of two spirited boys, she divides her time between London and her home in Lincolnshire.

To Jenny, my mother.
Thank you from my heart for being a loving and compassionate teacher and for your unending support and advice.

This ebook is copyright material and must not be copied, reproduced, transferred, distributed, leased, licensed or publicly performed or used in any way except as specifically permitted in writing by the publishers, as allowed under the terms and conditions under which it was purchased or as strictly permitted by applicable copyright law. Any unauthorized distribution or use of this text may be a direct infringement of the author’s and publisher’s rights and those responsible may be liable in law accordingly.

Published in 2014 by Vermilion, an imprint of Ebury Publishing
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The information in this book has been compiled by way of general guidance in relation to the specific subjects addressed, but is not a substitute and not to be relied on for medical, healthcare, pharmaceutical or other professional advice on specific circumstances and in specific locations. So far as the author is aware the information given is correct and up to date as at March 2014. Practice, laws and regulations all change, and the reader should obtain up to date professional advice on any such issues. The author and publishers disclaim, as far as the law allows, any liability arising directly or indirectly from the use, or misuse, of the information contained in this book.

When the ocean surges
Don’t let me just hear it.
Let it splash inside my chest!

INTRODUCTION

On Christmas Day in 2003, my first son was born in an operating theatre by Caesarean section. It was my husband and a series of strangers who held him first, while I was dizzy, disorientated and dressed in a hospital gown, unable to walk or hold my baby.

In the following days and weeks, I started suffering from postnatal depression and I found it hard to bond with my son. This was far from the experience of birth and motherhood I had been expecting. Seventeen months later, my second son was born. Even though he was born early, at 32 weeks, I had an undisturbed delivery. I was up straight away, feeling great and able to swing my toddler around. Against the odds, feeding was established early and we left the hospital after just six days. It was liberating, physically and emotionally, and the only difference was the way I had approached the birth.

During my first pregnancy, I didn’t really think about the birth. I worked hard in my job until the last minute, felt stressed and worried about all sorts of work-related issues, and had terrible heartburn and intermittent sleep. When I became pregnant with my second son, somehow I knew that this birth would be different. This time I wanted to be in control of what was happening. I did a bit of research and bought myself some hypnosis CDs, which I listened to from early in my pregnancy. I was relaxed, I approached work differently and when my waters broke at 32 weeks I was incredibly calm. Even my husband was surprised at how relaxed his previously highly strung wife was.

I have no doubt that how I approached my birth made a difference to how I birthed. I slept well throughout my pregnancy; I was tuned in to my body; I knew that I could do it, laughing and joking with the midwives instead of worrying about what might go wrong. I’d learned at a deeply subconscious level that by staying calm I was giving my baby the best chance, and the most incredible thing was that it was automatic. I didn’t have to ‘try’ to be calm.

After this birth, my husband, who has a doctorate in biochemistry and likes to see evidence, encouraged me to find out more. I trained to be a hypnotherapist, and took courses in several different kinds of hypnosis for birth and the psychology of birth. What I learned was extraordinary: women, like me, were having birth experiences that they described as euphoric, self-affirming and empowering. I wanted other mums-to-be to discover that birth can be different and so much better than they are led to believe.

It’s now widely accepted that being relaxed and prepared emotionally can help you have a better birth. Birthing centres everywhere are being redesigned to be more comfortable and homely, and this is a great step forward. However, they don’t take account of the unconscious fear that women have about birth, which is a result of dramatic stories and media portrayals of painful, distressing births. Midwives see undisturbed births every day; women do not. We take birth to be what we see on television or what friends and family tell us. Mindful hypnobirthing preparation explores what the unconscious responses around birth can be, how they affect us and what we can do to change our experience to be a better one.

The birthing partner’s role is also crucial. My husband was in the dark at my first son’s birth, but now the birthing partners I work with – dads, partners, mums, sisters and friends – say how much learning mindful hypnobirthing helped them support the mother during the birth.

There isn’t a ‘right way’ or a ‘wrong way’ to give birth, but understanding why you choose the birth you do and being mindful of how the birth can affect your baby and your relationship with your baby is extremely important. By trusting your instincts and asking the questions that are important to you, you can take ownership of your birth and feel empowered and confident, whether you are aiming to have a drug-free birth without intervention or a Caesarean.

I want to share with you what I’ve learned through my study of hypnosis and mindfulness, and my extensive work with women, men and childbirth professionals. Most of all, I want to show you what makes a difference, and how the link between your environment, your body and your baby is crucial. Equipped with the tools and techniques in this book, you’ll feel that you are in control and calmly excited about your baby’s birth.

HOW TO USE THIS BOOK

Although you can dip in and out of this book, ideally you need to follow it through from the beginning. It’s designed to be a practical book, and is packed with tools and techniques that will help you prepare for a mindful hypnobirth, including how to access a set of hypnosis and relaxation tracks to listen to.

You’ll find the term ‘undisturbed birth’ frequently in the book. I use this instead of ‘normal birth’. Normal birth can mean something different to every woman, and what is normal for one woman may not be normal for another. Undisturbed birth is allowing birth to take its course without interference.

In the first part of the book, ‘Preparation and Pregnancy’, I’ve included information about preparing for a mindful hypnobirth. In this section are techniques such as visualisation and relaxation, and mindful practices that you will need to get used to before you go into labour.

The second part of the book, ‘Birth’, takes you through what happens during labour. It will show you how to take what you have learned in your preparation and apply it as your labour progresses.

The third part of the book, ‘Welcoming your Baby to the Family’, offers practical tips on making those first few days and weeks easier.

Throughout the book you will see this symbol

next to an exercise you can practise. There are tips all the way through from parents who have experienced hypnobirthing. Case studies illustrate some of the important points in the book.

At the very end there is a small selection of birth stories from parents who have used the techniques in this book so you can see how mindful hypnobirthing has made a difference to their births.

You can access three hypnosis tracks at www.mindful-hypnobirthing.co.uk to help you prepare for the birth of your baby. The tracks are to be used alongside the book. The first is a 30 minute deep relaxation track; the second is a series of pregnancy affirmations to help you to adapt to the changes pregnancy brings; and the third is a set of birth affirmations to build your confidence and prepare you for labour. For full details on how and when to listen to them, see here.

Have fun exploring. Take what you learn and adapt it as you will, but most of all make it your own.

PART 1

PREPARATION AND PREGNANCY

WHAT IS MINDFUL HYPNOBIRTHING?

Childbirth can be made absolutely painless; not only that, it can easily be made pleasurable, ecstatic, under hypnosis.

Mindful hypnobirthing is a combination of hypnosis and mindfulness techniques. It helps your body respond well during labour by enabling you to create confident, calm and positive thoughts about the birth of your baby. Mums who have used this technique always comment on how they looked forward to the birth of their baby, feeling calmly excited rather than apprehensive or anxious.

Both hypnosis and mindfulness can help you connect with the part of you that is beneath your conscious awareness. This element of mindful hypnobirthing gives you the opportunity to shift your thinking from a state of fear, anxiety or apprehension to calm, confident expectation. Mindful hypnobirthing differs from basic relaxation techniques as it helps change your responses to birth at an unconscious level, which is, ultimately, much more powerful. Using hypnosis to prepare for birth will not only help you during labour and birth but also, potentially, in other areas of your life for many years to come.

HYPNOSIS AND MINDFULNESS

Hypnosis is a naturally occurring state of mind. We experience it twice a day at least: when we drop off to sleep and when we wake up in the morning. It’s that comfortable place when we’re not quite awake and not quite asleep, when we are slightly drifting off. Some people say it’s a lot like daydreaming. This is also known as an alpha (light hypnosis) or a theta (deep hypnosis) brain state. As a therapy it is remarkable. Sometimes, in as little as one hour, people can move forward into positive states of mind, overcoming phobias, habits and behaviours that may have prevented them from leading a fulfilling life.

My first experience of it came with my second birth. It wasn’t until I trained that I saw the extent to which hypnotherapy could help move people into a more positive, happier and life-affirming state of mind quickly and with great effect. I’m the third generation in my family working in a psychological field; my grandfather is a famous forensic psychiatrist and my mother a person-centred counsellor. Hypnotherapy was definitely the trade of choice for me. I found it a very quick and effective therapy for some psychological issues that may have taken longer under the care of a more traditional talking therapist.

When you go into hypnosis you access your unconscious. All the experiences you’ve had; everything you have been told, seen and heard resides in this area of your mind. In actual fact, our conscious mind can only focus on very small bits of information at any one time. Hypnosis is a goal-driven therapy. When using hypnosis I always ask my clients how they wish to be and we work towards that goal using very specific techniques.

Mindfulness is different. Rather than focusing on a goal in the future, you are turning your attention to the present. Mindfulness is a way of helping you to relate to your life in awareness, openness and loving kindness. By being mindful of how you experience your life you are able to cultivate a sense of clarity, inner calm and gentle compassion.

Being mindful is about being aware of experience and of being in each moment. It’s not as simple as knowing you are eating, washing the dishes or in the shower. Sometimes when we eat, we start thinking about things; we start chatting to our partner or watching television. We know we are eating but our attention is not on the process of eating. If we were to eat mindfully we would be aware of the edge of the knife on the potato as it slices it, the sensation of the potato touching our tongue and of chewing that potato while being aware of the flavour and then swallowing. We may consider where that potato has come from and the many people who have worked to bring that potato to the table. Often our mind wanders when we are doing things that are routine; mindfulness is about bringing your attention to what you are doing. When you are being mindful you are in the present, experiencing being alive and alert to your senses, not dwelling in the past or projecting into the future.

When you are in mindfulness meditation or using hypnosis you can enter into an alpha or a theta brain state, a naturally occurring altered, yet more focused, state of mind. Whether you are using hypnosis or cultivating mindfulness you are quietening down the chattering part of the mind that sometimes lacks clarity or focus.

Hypnosis is a method of taking us intentionally into a theta brain state, where you can access your unconscious to make changes to a negative or problematic pattern of behaviour by projecting into the future or reframing responses to events in the past. Someone can enter a trance-like, or hypnotic, state by themselves, using breath awareness or self-hypnosis.

The real difference between the two techniques is how we use that state. A mindfulness meditation can turn your attention inwards, bringing yourself into the moment and emptying your mind of thoughts. When experiencing hypnosis you are using that same theta state of mind to focus on a goal, perhaps in the future, or on a previous experience to alter your reaction to that experience. The purpose of hypnosis is to change a negative or obstructive pattern of behaviour, whereas when you are using a mindfulness meditation you are completely in the present, emptying your mind and letting go of thoughts.

Sometimes the outcomes of mindfulness and hypnosis can be very similar. Typically, those using these techniques on a regular basis show reduced anxiety, depression and tension and the ability to manage stress more effectively. Evidence of the benefits of hypnotherapy and mindfulness is now so strong in some fields of medicine that their use is advocated to treat things such as insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), anxiety and depression. Both techniques are becoming recognised in mainstream psychological care models for the benefits they bring to our everyday lives.

HYPNOSIS FOR BIRTH

You may be surprised to discover that hypnosis for birth is not a modern invention. In 1858, James Braid – commonly known as the father of hypnotherapy – wrote a paper on inducing a woman early for medical reasons using hypnotherapy. In the 1950s, the Soviet Union gathered the findings of an extensive and successful hypnosis for birth programme, which showed that in 83 per cent of births there was a complete or significant reduction in pain when hypnotherapy was used.

Magonet, a doctor and hypnotherapist in the 1950s, believed that ‘the time will come when hypnotherapy in antenatal clinics will be regarded as just as important as carrying out pelvic measurements, blood pressure reading and urine examination’. Although Magonet’s vision has not been fulfilled, hypnotherapy has become increasingly recognised in birth preparation. Today, it is more commonly known as hypnobirthing. Over the years, many different methods of hypnosis for birth have evolved, all slightly different in content, delivery, length and design but based on the same philosophy: If the mother is free of fear and trusts her body to do what it does naturally she can have her best birth possible, sometimes even free of pain.

Early approaches to hypnosis for birth were about pain management, but now the general philosophy underpinning all these methods is that birth is not something to be feared. Hypnobirthing will build your confidence and help you understand – both consciously and at an instinctive, unconscious, level – that you are able to birth your baby and that you can have a positive experience. This means that when you go into labour, your instinctive responses will be calm excitement and a relaxed body.

There are two approaches to hypnosis for birth. Whichever approach you decide is for you, you’ll find the techniques to support you in this book. The first approach is more traditional, focusing on hypnosis as a pain management tool. Most hypnotherapists will use this approach if they haven’t done specific training in the connection between the body and the mind during birth. Many women find these techniques very helpful and they are successful in managing chronic pain. These techniques are also used in what is known as hypno-anaesthesiology, used specifically for operations, minor surgical procedures and dental surgery.

The second approach, and the one more commonly used today for birth, is much more comprehensive and takes on board the wider physiology and psychology around birth. You learn about how thoughts held in your unconscious mind can trigger tension and pain in your body. The focus in this approach is to address the fear you may have of birthing and to allow your body to do what it’s designed to do. When this approach works, your body releases its own endorphins, natural painkillers, and you may not have any need for pharmacological pain management techniques.

YOUR CONSCIOUS AND UNCONSCIOUS MIND

Hypnosis and other forms of mind therapies work at a much deeper level than our conscious minds. Your conscious mind is your chattering chimp, the part of your brain that is moving around. It may be thinking of 100 different things in quick succession, but never at one time, and is constantly on the go.

Your unconscious mind is the part of your brain that is processing things out of your immediate awareness. Try this exercise:

As you are reading these words, you are at the same time aware of the colour of the floor, the weight of the book in your hand and any sounds around you. Each time you think of something else you may find that your immediate focus switches to something different. The weight of the book is still there, the sounds are still around you, you just aren’t consciously aware of them when you are focused on reading these words.

Your mind is constantly absorbing and filtering messages from the world around you without you even realising. This is called perception without awareness. Derren Brown, a well-known hypnotist and illusionist, uses this psychological process to his advantage when he builds up a belief or implants a suggestion into someone’s mind before doing a ‘mind-reading trick’. We create beliefs, thoughts and feelings based on what we have absorbed throughout our lives, either intentionally or unintentionally.

Imagine that your mind is the British Library; every book that has ever been published is stored in that library under different reference systems. You have a reference system for holidays, for birth, for giving speeches, even for making a cup of tea. It’s your own personal user guide for how to operate in the world around you; everything you do checks what is in the reference system to know how to respond. If you were to try and comprehend the magnitude of that library and the information within it at one moment in time, it would be impossible. Your brain can’t do it.

Your conscious brain can use the reference systems and retrieve information as and when it needs to, but can only process very small amounts at any one time. This means that many of our responses are automatic and can bypass our conscious thinking brain. Often your body responds without you even having to think about what you are doing. Think about riding a bike, making a cup of tea, brushing your teeth – all these things are automatic learned responses that we don’t need to consciously think about when we do them.

Later in the book you will learn why these processes between your brain and your body will have such an impact on how you birth. You’ll also learn how to alter and change those reference systems for the better so your automatic physical responses help your labour progress quickly and you stay calm and centred.

You will always be in control when you are in hypnosis. I can’t make you cluck like a chicken or eat an onion. Stage hypnosis has done a great disservice to hypnotherapy; it’s often a clever manipulation of magic, illusion, psychology and hypnosis, nothing like the hypnotherapy practised by thousands of professional hypnotherapists across the country.

When you are in hypnosis, you will be able to open your eyes at any point you wish. It’s an extremely relaxing and comforting form of therapy. When I help with births, I always use a progressive relaxation; this means I guide you into hypnosis by giving you suggestions to relax all the muscles in your body. This is the perfect type of hypnosis to learn for birth – when your muscles are relaxed, calm and working harmoniously, your labour is likely to be much quicker.

Most people are very surprised to feel just how relaxing hypnosis is, and how well their body responds to it. You may feel as if you are aware of everything around you or you may feel as if you have gone to sleep; either is perfect. You may feel heavier and your body sinking down, or you may feel as if you are drifting. Trust that your unconscious will take you into hypnosis in a way that is comfortable and right for you; the more you do it and the more trusting you become of the process, the more deeply relaxed you’ll be.

If you feel like it’s not working for you, keep going; just allow yourself to let go. Perhaps you need to find somewhere where you feel less self-conscious and more secure. Suddenly it will click and you’ll be amazed at just how easy it is to let go and enjoy that deep state of relaxation.

MINDFULNESS FOR BIRTH

Birth can be approached mindfully. It’s an opportunity to put aside judgments and expectations and to be aware of the experience of being in the moment with your body and your baby. Jon Kabat-Zinn, an expert in mindfulness and the author of The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, writes: ‘Being fully present from one moment to the next during labour requires courage, concentration and the love and support of the people around you.’

Being mindful during your birth is to be connected to the experience and the rhythm of your body in each moment. When you are experiencing the present, you allow yourself to move away from any fears that may rest in the past and back from fears of an imagined future. In the moment, you allow yourself to surrender to the deep trust you have in yourself and your natural abilities to tap into your own inner resources and strength.

Through this awareness of each moment and by being present, we are able to be more in touch with what we need in that moment. Many women who have learned hypnotherapy for birth actually find that staying with their breath and being focused on that breath is all they need. It’s this state of mindful awareness that allows you to respond to the needs of your birthing body.

When you stay with your breath, you become focused on your breathing. Try this now:

Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Become aware of the coolness of the air as you breathe in, the air expanding your chest. Then be aware of the warmth of the air as you breathe out, your chest falling. Breathing in, coolness, your chest rising; breathing out, warmth, your chest falling. Continue to do this for a few minutes, focusing on the sensations of breathing in and breathing out.

Any sensations you experience during the birth are messages from your body. Turning towards those sensations and embracing them in the moment as something positive – welcoming them, rather than resisting them – will allow your body to let go and open up. This awareness may encourage you to get into different positions or move in a particular way. Being in the moment opens up this connection between your body and your mind and can heighten intuition of how you need to move, rock and sway during labour.

THE PERFECT COMBINATION FOR A POSITIVE BIRTH

Hypnosis and mindfulness are the perfect combination for a positive birth experience. Your hypnosis preparation will help to process unconscious fears, allowing your body to relax and respond to labour in the way that it is designed to do. Mindfulness will help you be present in each moment during labour. Hypnosis and mindfulness work well in conjunction with other classes you may have attended, such as active birth or pregnancy yoga.

Mindful hypnobirthing will teach you how to stay centred in your birthing zone. Your birthing zone is a naturally occurring state of mind during birth. If you are free of fear, calmly excited and trusting of your body and of birth, you automatically go into your birthing zone.

Midwives often say that women can seem quite spaced out during birth. Many mums who have given birth more than once say that they were in a zone while in labour and not really aware of anything going on around them. Women rarely recall the details of their baby’s birth because they were in their birthing zone, which is different to our normal daily levels of awareness.

During labour your brain waves slow down. You may experience this as something similar to feeling sleepy, daydreaming, being in hypnosis or using a mindful meditation. Both hypnosis and mindfulness work so well alongside birth because they help you to stay in your birthing zone, or to get back if anything disturbs you or takes you out of it. They can help if you just feel you need something to keep you centred and focused. You’ll learn much more about your birthing zone in Chapter 4.

BENEFITS IN PREGNANCY

If you are preparing for your birth using hypnotherapy, and practising every day, you will experience the positive knock-on effects of being more relaxed, sleeping better and generally feeling more comfortable physically. Women report insomnia lifting and heartburn disappearing once they begin to take the time out to listen to their hypnosis tracks or to meditate.

Unlike many other treatments during pregnancy, hypnotherapy and meditation are non-invasive and can be safely used to help manage certain conditions such as heartburn, sickness and insomnia. They can also be used as simple ways to de-stress, relax and let go, allowing you time to connect with and reflect on your baby.

When you are in a hypnotic or a mindful state, you are deeply relaxed. With hypnotherapy your conscious mind drifts off and any bothersome or troublesome thoughts disappear while you let go, allowing yourself to be guided by someone else’s voice that calms you. Being mindful can bring awareness to the moment, of your body and your growing baby. It can be a very rewarding method of connecting with your baby and with physical changes that are occurring within you. The more you get used to being in those states and feeling safe in your surroundings during pregnancy, the more easily you will be able to apply them to the birth.

When you reach this state of deep hypnosis, your muscles relax and your baby often moves in response to these good feelings. How often does your baby start moving just as you are drifting off to sleep? It’s because when you let go mentally, your muscles relax, allowing baby more space to move and stretch. You and your baby will benefit from the time that you take to use mind relaxation techniques.

By using the techniques in this book, you can train yourself to go into self-hypnosis, and to use the simple visualisations to help manage anything that may be troubling or worrying you. Listening to hypnosis tracks is a simple way of accessing the benefits that these techniques have during pregnancy.

WHAT WILL MY MIDWIFE THINK?

Six years ago, you may have got a raised eyebrow if you’d mentioned hypnobirthing to your midwife. Today, thanks to the thousands of people practising and experiencing births using this approach, more and more midwives are witnessing the benefits first hand and welcoming those births. When I am working as a doula – a birth companion – and hypnosis is on the mother’s birth plan, I often get midwives who are interested in the approach. I like to think that hospitals match you with a midwife who suits your needs as a couple, and if you have hypnobirthing on your preferences you will get a midwife who is interested in supporting you. If this doesn’t happen and you don’t feel your midwife is fully supportive, or you feel uncomfortable, it is within your rights to speak to the supervisor of midwives, the midwife in charge of that shift, or request another midwife.

If you have a community midwife you can invite her to share in your preparation. Talk to her about how you would like her to help you and ask her medical questions to help you clarify the choices on your birth plan. If you are having your baby in hospital, make sure that your birth preferences reflect the fact that you are using hypnosis and request that staff help create the right environment (see here).

By working with your unconscious, hypnosis preparation will help you to establish a positive connection between your body and your mind during labour. Mindfulness will help you tune in to your instinctive body, allowing you to recognise signals to move your body in a way that will help your baby get into the perfect position for birth. Mindful hypnobirthing will change your negative beliefs about your body and birth at a deep unconscious level, allowing you to be centred and in control.

SUMMARY

• When you are in hypnosis your body will continue to do what it’s meant to do.

• When you practise these techniques regularly you will find you sleep better and feel calmly excited about the birth of your baby.

THE BENEFITS OF A MINDFUL HYPNOBIRTH

Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers – strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.

Preparing for a mindful hypnobirth brings benefits for you, your partner and your baby. These are different to many other antenatal preparations. You may be surprised to discover that the elements of emotional and mental preparation bring attention to aspects of the birth or parenting which may not have even come into your conscious awareness. It will prepare you in more ways than you can imagine, and when you are emotionally centred and strong you’ll be much more in control.

BENEFITS FOR MUM

Whether the prospect of giving birth excites or frightens you, the closer you get to birth the more you will focus on it, rather than your pregnancy or preparing for the first weeks after your baby is born. After having her first baby, a very good friend of mine asked, ‘Why are we so focused on the birth when it is part of so much more and the start of a bigger and more intense journey?’ Birth is important, very important, but she’s right – it’s also vital to recognise the moment of birth as part of a journey, a moment of transition. Baby moves from life inside the womb to life outside the womb, just like a plant that grows under the soil and then breaks the surface, turning towards the sun and growing well as it is nurtured and cared for.

A baby grows like a seed, at first protected and nourished under the ground, then when in sight continuing to grow nourished by the loving care of parents.

About the Book